Make every minute count...

I saw a clip advertising a TV movie playing this weekend and the words kinda jumped out at me: (paraphrasing as usual) "What if you could have one more day with the one you love...." I found that kind of ironic, as it touches a little too close to home right now.

I am sitting at home right now in bed, with my beagle, Molly, sleeping in my lap. 24 hours ago I was a total wreck and at a complete loss. I was supposed to be cramming for my big exam today, but couldn't even look at a book. After one week of watching my dog in pain, not knowing what was going on, I finally took her to the vet yesterday, and had to leave her behind. The vet told me today that she was pretty worried about her yesterday, but thankfully Molly eventually responded to the pain medication.

She's sort of been diagnosed... suspected Beagle Pain Syndrome (a type of non-infectious meningitis that dogs get) and/or a "cervical issue." She is on some pretty good medication right now, "flying high." She has a fentanyl patch on, and every 24 hours I am to give her a dose of Metacam. We're going to see how it goes for the next two weeks. She's not allowed to run and jump, even though she feels like WonderDog right now. I'm sure she is feeling relieved to be pain-free, but right now we have to hope that she heals, or goes into remission.

It was pretty scary there for awhile. She had a stiff neck and could not turn her head, but rather had to move her whole body to look to the side. I thought is was just one of those "achy days" we all get, and thought she would be fine, but then on Monday/Tuesday, she took a turn for the worse, but I couldn't get a vet appointment until Wednesday :-( When she laid down, she really struggled to get back up again, and one side was worse than the other. One way she would lay down, she would scream in pain to get up; if she happened to lay on her other side, she would scream in pain and wait for me to get her, as the pain was too much for her to get up on her own. It was heartbreaking. Her appetite was good, although I was hand feeding her as she couldn't move her head to her bowl. And once she was up walking around she was fine, as long as she didn't have to move her head too much.

The vet believes she will recover - these next two weeks are kind of a test. Hopefully the pain meds will help her recovery go smoothly.

Back to my theme: right now, I am so thankful for every minute I have Molly back home with me. She just turned 5, so seems too soon for her to be taken from me. Currently am going to enjoy every moment I can with her, and hope to make her happy and comfortable.

Kids Say the Darndest Things... aka "If Only..."

I read something online last night that made me a little sad and nostalgic. Thinking back to some of the many lapses in judgment I made over the years, I caught myself doing the “if only…” Had I made different choices at certain crossroads in my life, my life would be totally different right now…

I happened to have Kid Nation on a few minutes later, and one of the kids summed it up nicely. (I’m relying on my memory so my quote might not be 100%) “If I had to do it over again, there’s no way I would have [done that]. But I don’t own a time machine so I can’t go back and do it again.” I guess if a kid gets it, it’s about time I did too!

UPDATE: Another thought on this as I think back to a movie I saw a few years ago, The Butterfly Effect:

Even if you are not satisfied with the choices you have made in life, how can you be sure that if you hadn't made them things would have turned out any better?

Just another one of those things to think about…

Change of Shift

Another change of shift is up at Emergiblog.

Read it here :-)

Gonna Be A Bear

Are we really that busy???

One of my biggest “bitches” in life is how supposed “friends” can so easily lose touch – it always amazed me how “friends” can’t seem to be bothered to take a few moments out of their busy lives for a quick email or phone call. This is supposed to be the “information age” with so many means of communication within reach and at our fingertips… telephone, cell phone, email, even snail mail! Yet how often do we use these to make a sincere inquiry as to how our friends are doing. It has always frustrated me that generally I am always the one to reach out and make an effort to keep in touch with people, but after awhile, when seeing how one-sided it is, the effort slowly starts to die. Why bother? You start to feel that “if they don’t care enough to keep in touch, why should I?” That attitude, on top of a busy schedule, time slowly ticks away…

And then I had a wake-up call…

I happened to check out a blog of a friend that I haven’t had the opportunity to visit with in awhile, rationalizing in my head the usual BUSY excuse! I read an entry that momentarily sucked the life out of me. Her mother had a heart attack; she had to perform CPR on her own mother; momentarily revived, only to lose her in the ambulance ride on the way to the hospital. Tragic enough of a story right there. This happened 3 years ago next month – I found this out by reading her blog! I have known her for maybe 7 or 8 years. I had no idea she went through any of this? And she lives in the same city? We go to the same “church.” I call her a "friend." How can I have not noticed or heard about any of this! I am just so ashamed and in shock and awe.

I have readjusted my attitude, and I don’t care how busy I get – I am motivated again to start making the effort to keep in touch. Never again do I want to miss out on the opportunity to be there for a friend in need.

I hope all of you reading this will make an effort to do the same.

If you can spare the few seconds/minutes to peruse a blog – perhaps you could use that same amount of time to whip up on email, write out a card, or call up a friend? You never know when they may really be needing you and could be waiting for YOU to reach out to THEM.

Something to Talk About

I haven't been on my blog much lately, so thought I should write a quick entry - not that my life is too exciting lately!

Today I hit the 2000 visitor mark :-) So I guess I better find something to say ;-) I'm supposed to be doing homework right now, so of course, am trying to find any excuse to get out of it.

My mom is up visiting me right now. I was supposed to go home Thanksgiving weekend (last weekend) but I put my back out early in the week so didn't want to make that long drive and make it worse. So, my mom decided to come up here for Thanksgiving... but then she hurt her knee, and didn't want to make the long drive and make it worse! Instead, she came up yesterday and is here for a week!!! So this way it worked out better in the end as she gets to stay longer.

I'm still insanely busy as usual. By Friday I thought my head was going to explode! But I had a dentist appointment Friday afternoon, and after about half an hour of the nitrous oxide, I suddenly didn't have a care in the world ;-) Even now I'm not as stressed as I know I SHOULD be ;-)

School is a real struggle this year. I am enjoying the classes I am taking, the mental health nursing class especially, but I am falling behind SOOOO quickly I am starting to get a little nervous! Hopefully I will catch up quickly, as I really want to remain in the advanced standing class (it will cut an entire year off my schooling).

To make up for the lack of excitement in my blog entry today, I'll end with a corny bilinguial joke:

A young Canadian lad canoes across a river and buys three cats and names them Un, Deux and Trois.

Heading back home, his boat capsizes. He arrives home, half-frozen, but still alive, sadly crying «Maman! Maman! Un, Deux, Trois cats sank!»

Change of Shift

Change of Shift is up at Emergency Room Nurse.

Another creative edition. It always amazes me how the host(ess) always manages to tie all the links together. The theme this time is "To Bob Barker - Thanks For the Memories." I even got my feet wet this time and made a submission.

Check it out here.

Surmising Sunday

Welcome to another edition of Surmising Sunday... to me a humorous edition.

Praise the Colo-Rectal Surgeons by Bowser & Blue (Canadian comedians)

Update (on life in general and dieting!)

Well, school is in full-swing. I am surviving so far, but now assignments are starting to be due, and I’ve fallen a little behind on my reading, so panic is S-L-O-W-L-Y setting in.

My dad is doing well – thank you for your comments and emails! His surgery went well – they removed all the tumours, and a tissue growth in his bladder that was preventing the bladder from properly draining. This created an ideal breeding ground for bacteria, etc, and they believe it is why the cancer came back. So now that it has been removed, it is hopeful that it won’t come back – now it’s just the waiting.

The work/school balance is going better this year. Sounds like I have run out of chances to be accommodated at work to allow for school, so thankfully I only have day classes this year. Thursday’s and Friday’s are HELL, and I usually spend most of Saturday sleeping to make up for the lack of sleep on Thursday’s and Friday’s. (Shoot – which reminds me, I have to be at a party in 2 hours!!!) Anyways, I am adapting so far. Except for the fact that an old wrist injury has flared up making most tasks at work very painful. I’m actually supposed to be off work for 2 weeks, but can’t afford it, so am on “modified duties” for awhile. I have tried to adapt my tasks at work to prove that I am not useless to them – thankfully I have minimal computer work right now, so what I have to type, I type with my left hand and have gotten quite good at left-hand mouse handling ;-) I just have to watch not to overcompensate too much. I’m hoping to start physio soon and get myself back to normal ASAP. So my blogging will be very minimal over the next little while, as left handed typing on a laptop is not easy!

I am still sorta “dieting”, but more of my own creation than following anything specific…. More or less low-ish carbs, higher protein, high fiber, high calcium, and attempts at fruits and veggies. Plus I am still walking 45-60 mins a day (on my coffee breaks and lunch hours at work), swimming about once a week, and taking the stairs almost everywhere I go. For almost a month, despite all my efforts my weight was barely moving – I am always seem to be gaining and losing within the same 5 lb area, but all of a sudden the weight has started falling off. I have FINALLY gone down another dress size (took almost 20 lbs to reach another dress size! – so much for the 10 lbs loss = 1 dress size). As of yesterday, I have lost 37.2 lbs! I was pretty excited, as this is the lowest I have been since October 2003! Now to keep at it. I have really been making an effort, and am still motivated, so I think this time, it’s for real, and I believe this time I will be successful.

My biggest downfall was the amount of fast-food/take out/Chinese/pizza/convenience foods I was eating, and I was in total denial as to how bad the food was that I was eating! With such a crazy, hectic schedule, the thought of cooking for myself exhausts me. But, I stumbled across a website a few months ago that totally woke me up, and now the thought of fast food almost disgusts me! The craving is still there once in awhile, but it has now been months since I’ve had fast food. This website gives the nutritional analysis of the more common restaurants/fast food places in North America. I looked up my favourite foods, some of which I thought were HEALTHY choices, and got a rude awakening!

For example – my favourite fast food place is Arby’s, and any time I needed an ego boost, I would go there and flirt with the manager (my friend Lindsay says the two of us are embarrassingly pathetic to watch together!) I always ordered the same thing, a SANDWICH, (NOTE: not a burger, a SANDWICH) curly fries and diet pop (sometimes diet pop….). I thought it was a healthy choice. I’ve been eating it for years. When I looked it up: 1400 calories!!! In ONE MEAL! Never again! The sandwich alone has more calories than the advertised artery clogging Baconator Burger at Wendy’s!

Another example: Timbits from Tim Hortons. I used to work in a bakery, so now don’t even LIKE donuts. Yet anytime someone brings a box of timbits, I dig in. Well, I used to! 1 Timbit alone is 100 calories. And who eats just 1 Timbit!?

And fast-food burgers, salads, dessert – almost every item is loaded in fat, sodium, and calories. I LOVE poutine, but always knew it was bad so RARELY allowed myself the indulgence. Poutine actually had less fat and calories that many of the burgers, salads, and deserts! I still argue that at least when you are eating the salads and (some) of the burgers, at least you are getting some veggies, while things like greasy French fries and poutine is nutrient-less.

Anyways, thankfully I stumbled across that website, and it took the desire of fast food away. To solve the fast food problem, once a week I stock up on grapes, bananas, bags of lettuce, yogurt cups, cheese sticks, V8 juice and fruit-to-go bars. They are perfect for on-the-go at work and school. My at home eating still needs improvements, but thankfully I am not at home much ;-) I eat a lot of lean cuisines and packaged foods, but, that’s my next thing to work on. 15.8 lbs to reach my next goal.

Wish me luck!

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