I'm Still Here.....

I’ve received a few complaints from friends lately that I haven’t been keeping up my blog lately. Sorry, but in my defense, it was exactly this time last year that I burnt out, and I am desperately trying not to go through that again this year! I am already generally surviving on less than 4 hours of sleep most nights, but I think I have made up for it, cuz I didn’t get up until 5 pm today!!!!! Almost 15 hours of sleep (my poor dog!)

Work: Last night I was offered a 3 ½ year day shift contract in the change of name department. It was REALLY hard for me to turn that down! If only timing had been better – guarantee of being in the department I want to be in for at least 3 ½ years, under 2 of the best managers, doing work I enjoy doing. Stupid school – but as consoling friends have pointed out, school is helping me go on to bigger and better things, and maybe in 3 ½ years I won’t even be working in our office anymore! Yeah, right! To quote Sean last night at work, “Yeah we calculated out how old you will be when you finally become a Dr. At the rate you are going now, you will have just turned 53.” Ha Ha! Very funny!

Clinical is going surprisingly well. I went into it thinking I was going to totally hate it, especially once I met our clinical instructor who is the personality equivalent of “The Nazi” on Grey’s Anatomy. Very nice person, but DON’T SCREW UP, and DON’T PISS HER OFF! I actually really like her, but she’s pretty scary when she gets mad! Thankfully I’ve had no reason for her to get after me yet, well, ok once yesterday when it was obvious I hadn’t looked at my patient’s chart yet before starting her morning care. She happened to walk into the room just as I was standing there like an idiot trying to figure out how I was going to get my patient with MS into her wheelchair. She saw my weakness and starting drilling me with questions – just when I was about to open my mouth to say “Sorry, I really don’t know”, a feeble voice called out, “Excuse me, but I think I need the bedpan.” Saved by my patients’ weak bladder!

There are an odd number of us students on our floor of the nursing home, and from the beginning we were supposed to be paired up so we can learn from each other and help each other out. Ironically, from the beginning, I was the only student not paired up with a partner. So I basically had to go into the whole experience blindly, but it worked out well for me, as it forced me to just jump in and take charge, unlike last year where I pretty much sat back and watched and tried to participate as little as possible. As we were leaving for the day, the instructor apologized for not having me paired up with anyone, but she said she felt I was doing well enough on my own, and thought I was competent enough that I could be trusted on my own. Quite a few times when she would pass me on the floor during our shift she told me I was doing a great job, so that was nice.

When clinical is over, I am mentally and physically exhausted, but other than the stress of knowing I am being graded on my expertise, or lack thereof, I am enjoying myself and know I am headed in the right direction career-wise. The joy on the faces of the elderly that I am caring for when you take those few extra minutes with them warms your heart. And when I leave I feel real job satisfaction; that I am actually doing something beneficial.