Vacation!!!!!!!!!!

Well yesterday I officially booked a vacation for myself and my parents. May 6th we will be flying to Vancouver and going on a 7-day cruise to Alaska. So diet-time again - back to low-carbing tomorrow. Hoping to lose 20 lbs before the cruise so I can look good in the family portraits, and have enough energy to enjoy myself!

The Latest

Actually the title of this post is a little deceiving, becuz it implies there is actually something new to report in my life.... sorry! Made you look!

Just realized I haven't posted in awhile and I'm wide awake and not ready to go to bed! So I will try and summarize anything new I can think of....

1. Dropped out of clinical. So now I am just taking the 2 nursing classes and chemistry right now - what a difference! My stress level has totally dropped! It took Molly getting violently sick and almost dying a couple weeks ago for me to sit back and look at how life is just flying by with me spending every waking moment working or with my head stuck in a textbook. I realized I needed to slow things down a bit - I am still crazy busy, but now I have time to breathe! And SLEEP - mmmmmmmmmmm sleep. I've even been catching up on some of my favourite TV shows!

2. Have been selling my life away on eBay lately. Trying to pay off some debt to help me get through school faster...one cent at a time!

3. Actually went out on a Saturday night - last weekend went with a couple girls from work to the Prospector. Was a nice break. Had a great time! To non-***ers, the Prospector is one of those "special-occasion" restuarants where you literally line up for hours on a weekend. Best steak in *****, and are also known for their buns. It's a restaurant that used to be an old bank. I love it there - too expensive to go to often, but the food is so good it is definately worth the price.

4. Ok I am a little behind the times, but I have just discovered the world of podcasts, accidently actually by pressing a wrong button when I was updating my ipod! Now I am addicted. There are even nursing podcasts that teaches anything from anatomy to just sharing funny experiences. I have subscribed to about 30 podcasts so far, from educational, to mindless comedy, to weightloss, to financial. To those who have no clue what I am talking about, podcasts are basically free LEGAL audio or video downloads for your ipod (or MP3 player, or just to your computer) You can download a simple podcast to listen to later, or actually subscribe to the podcast and your computer will automatically download the file when a new podcast is available. There are thousands of them out there on all sorts of topics. To me it's like having free satellite radio! (ok, ok I know it's not the same) but why pay several hundred dollars for a satellite radio receiver, plus a subscription fee when you can access podcasts for free! One of the best podcast sites I have found so far is: http://www.podcastalley.com/.

Off to bed!

Me again!

Two Thoughts for a Sunday Evening.

1. During the Xmas holidays I went to see Fun With Dick & Jane. LOVED it! Was SO funny! I'm usually not that big of a Jim Carrey fan cuz sometimes he goes a little overboard psycho, but he was great in this movie. There was only one little scene where he acted stupid, but his voice distorter he was wearing in the scene prevented you from actually hearing what he was saying half the time so it was tolerable! Great movie - you must see it!

2. James Blunt! What an amazing voice! Totally depressing songs but wow his latest song Goodbye My Lover just gives me goosebumps. If you have no clue who I am talking about, the song he is most known for right now is You're Beautiful. He has such a unique voice. The one thing that bugs me though is when he suddenly swears in You're Beautiful. It is such a sweet, romantic song, and then out of the blue, and totally out of place, he swears - totally breaks the mood. Anyways, if you haven't heard Goodbye my Lover yet, I recommend you download it to give it a try.

So this burnout!

What an exciting weekend this has been so far. It is 7:30 pm on a Sunday and I believe so far this weekend I have been awake for a whole 5 hours!

To quickly summarize my schedule again, I work nights from 5 pm - 1:15 am. By the time I get home, let Molly out, play with her a few minutes, have a quick snack, prepare things for the next day and actually phsically crawl into bed, on a good night/early morning, I aim to be sleeping by 3 am. Friday mornings are my clinical days where I must be up around 6 am. My clinical duties involve both heavy physical work as well as mental clarity and alertness. Well, I discovered on Friday that 2 hours of sleep does not prepare one properly for such tasks.

Arriving at my clinical location, after brushing off several joking remarks from the clinical instructors and fellow students about how I generally looked like crap, I began my routine. Thankfully we got into little groups of 3's to help each other out with their patients before having to jump in by ourselves so it did allow me a quick refresher of what we were doing. My friend Meesha's patient was first and we started out the day by undressing him and giving him a trough bath. He reminded me so much of my dad that it sort of startled me into just standing in the background and staring, basically being useless.

A little later the other 2 girls got busy making beds and helping the support worker with various patients so I decided to go and look for my patient. She is a sweet elderly lady that I chose right away as I seemed to connect her with her, and she is fairly high functioning so I wouldn't be too overwhelmed at first. After gently waking her, I was at a total loss as to what I was to do next... of course then my clinical instructor happens to walk by and check up on me and mildly chastizes me for being unprepared (meanwhile I had this patients whole chart memorized for over a week now, but my mind was just blank). So my clinical instructor stands over me as step by step I get her toileted, washed up, and ready for breakfast in the dining room. Other than looking totally incompetent it went pretty uneventful. For the next half hour or so I helped the support worker deliver breakfast to bed ridden patients, assisted with toileting, made beds, etc, and once things quieted down I went to the dining room to check on my patient. I sat down next to her and started talking with her. I happened to look to the side and noticed these 3 elderly people slumped over in the restraints in the wheelchairs sitting off to the side in the little sun room - they looked so sad and lonely and I felt so overwhelming sad for them. That was one of my last thoughts before the whole room started spinning, I started shaking, and I felt sick. Thankfully I found a washroom and was sick for a few minutes, and then just couldn't stop crying. I must've cried for at least half an hour. My clinical instructor was really good about it and talked with me for a little while about how I just burned out, and I will have to make some adjustments in my life if I want to continue as it is not safe for me, or the patients I am handling. Thankfully the rest of clinical was uneventful as I got my second wind.

After clinical I came home and napped for 2 hours until it was time for work. My entire work shift was in a fog, and at one point I went to talk to my manager about what happened to me earlier and what would she suggest. So for the rest of this term, I will leave at 11 pm Thursday nights, taking the remainder hours as vacation time, and we'll see how that helps.

To summarize, I look back now at how unhealthy I had allowed my lifestyle to become. Lack of sleep, lack of nutrition, lack of organization, and no "me time", all contributed to my burning out. Even coffee breaks and supper hours have been spent pouring over textbooks and doing homework. So I allowed this weekend to be all about me - in this case it was sleep! I woke up at 4 pm yesterday, had a bite to eat, then went back to sleep again. I was supposed to be working overtime today from 9 am - 1pm, and could really use the money, but when my alarm went off I shut it off and just rolled back over to sleep again until 3 pm. At least I am starting to feel a little more like myself again :-)

Sabrina’s Law 2005

Well, I am pretty impressed with the government for our recent instilment of the Sabrina Law, in memory of the student who died from her peanut allergy. The purpose of the bill is to protect anaphylactic students. I am very impressed at this attempt to protect the safety of the students who are at risk of dying just from coming into contact with an allergen.

For those not aware, I personally have an allergy to seafood and fish – I carry an epi-pen – I believe the majority of people who know me are aware of this – and I have always kept my managers informed of this situation. In the past, due to fellow co-workers insensitivity, I have had several life-threatening reactions at work involving immediate action being taken and numerous hospital visits. Because of these numerous reactions, my allergy has gone from fairly mild to quite severe, where it is not guaranteed I will survive my next reaction.

Recently the managers on the night shift had been requesting that no items containing fish be brought into the office. A contract staff member who just came back to work a couple weeks ago apparently takes offence to this, and has sent me several nasty emails and practically attacked me at the end of the work day stating this was a violation of her rights, and who do I think I am getting the managers to ban a food item from the office to protect just 1 person. She is starting a diet which requires her to eat chicken and fish only for meat, and happens to prefer fish. So…..I am expected to risk my life so she can eat her fish? (Ironically, I am on the exact same diet – as of today I have lost 16 lbs, and guess what, I didn’t eat the fish!)

I am hoping Sabrina’s Law will open people’s eyes to how serious a problem allergies really are. How many more have to die before people finally get it! Legally, this law is just in effect now so will probably take a while before everything is smoothed out with it, and yes, it only covers schools; however considering the number of offices now that have a no-scent policy (including my own), I am hoping it will not be long until the same laws cover the work place too.

With all of the food options available to us in North America, is it really that much to ask people to consider other food choices for the meals when they have been informed of specific allergies of those in their company?

Decisions About the Future!!!

Well I made a decision today that after I graduate from my nursing program, if I can't get into medical school I will be moving to either Southern Ontario, BC, or to the USA. Maybe even just a small Northern town where everything is within walking distance. Since my car accident in 2003, I just can't handle our Northern winters anymore. Driving yesterday was absolutely insane - first the downpour of rain we got, which froze glazing everything over, then the dumping of snow on top. Thankfully I spent $600 on winter tires which helped, but then you are out there driving with everyone else and having to rely on their tires, brakes and driving skills....I've had enough! Watching a packed city bus spin in circles in the middle of a big heavy intersection was a little shocking for me.
The one good thing is that once I graduate with my nursing degree, there is a shortage almost everywhere so at least I would have a lot of choices of where I want to go.
True, my graduating will be anywhere from 4-7 years from now, and a lot can happen in that time that could make me change my mind, but for right now it gives me hope of something to look forward to. And the fun part is that I have several years to hunt and research a great future home. If anyone has any suggestions of great places they'd recommend I check out, let me know :-)

My experience on crutches

K - this is more of a vent than anything....

Ok - it was bad enough when I fell at boulevard and people literally stepped over me without looking back to see if I was ok - but boy have I gotten my eyes opened about people. Now we've all said it, "when I was their age there's no way I would've gotten away with that!" or "kids now adays just aren't raised right" Well I would like to set the record straight that sure, times have changed, and generally young people seem to be getting themselves into more trouble as there are more temptations out there to just go crazy nuts, but my experience this week on crutches has shown that young people really aren't all that bad! Every young person I've come into contact this week (I'm talking 12 - 20 both male and female), when they've seen my hobbling along, they've slowed down to help me out, open doors, ask if I need anything, etc. Perfect strangers. Yet the number of adults that have slammed doors in my face, closed elevators in my face, honked their horns at me while I am trying to cross the street, oh the list goes on, it is just ridiculous. Best example, Canadian Tire on Saturday. Stood in line for 20 minutes at the auto center. Went to leave, nice young man opens the door for me. Just as I am going through the door, an older man who was walking behind me shoves me aside to walk through the opened door himself. (?) Then slams the second door in my face. Doesn't even look back. And what a great example he just set for the young man who so nicely opened the door for me. And he couldn't open the other door himself - he had to walk through the door that was being held open for the "handicapped" person? Now I guess I shouldn't be totally surprised cuz yes no one's perfect, and as time goes on, generations get more and more selfish. But I hope the next time I go to grumble about 'young people nowadays' that I never forget this past week....

Oh Woe Is Me

Wow time flies - has been over two months since I last posted! And of course once again I have another klutzy story, and am using the time I'm SUPPOSED to be working on an assignment to mess around on the computer - what else is new!

This months injury I have avoided the ER at all costs - too stubborn. I decided to just suck it up and deal with it (tomorrow I HAVE to go to the Dr though!) A quarter of the way around Blvd lake, deep in coversation with my buddy Anthe, I end up sprawled out on the path and messed up my ankle! And here we are, two nursing students, looking at each other like, "now what!" And of course nothing is open on a Sunday to get any crutches, and of course I couldn't buy a core floor home, and of course Molly has to go outside 10 times a day....ANYWAYS! Thankfully a friend's mom has loaned me a pair of crutches so that has made a big difference...and every time I start to feel sorry for myself, I think of poor Mali (the former homeowner of my beautiful house), in a foreign country, receiving foreign medical care, hobbling around on a full leg cast....

Working the night shift is still going well - although I do believe I reached burnout at some point over the past couple weeks. First I got the flu, then some pretty bad migraines, then wrote a test where I couldn't even recall some pretty basic terms. After the test we had a short lecture on stress (how appropriate) and I really don't remember a thing!!

Started clinical Oct 31. I am at *****, a beautiful brand new nursing home. Nice to finally get some patient contact besides just learning theory "stuff" (just can't stand our clinical teacher - I swear she has it out for me!) Only two more weeks. Actually only 3 more weeks of school, then exams, then freedom for a month (YAY) Can hardly wait! I need a break - this three day weekend was awesome, even though I got injured, it was still a nice break!!!!!

Anyways back to my assignment - due Friday, haven't even STARTED it yet and I've known about it since the beginning of September!

Toodles

Time to post again.....

Well since it's been awhile, and the fact that it is almost 4 am and I just can't seem to wind down for bed yet I figured I would babble on for a minute or two....

New events in my "oh so exciting" life.... ended up in the ER again last weekend - think I've lost count of my number of ER visits this year. This past visit was a little too embarrasing to post for the world to see how clutzy stupid I am - I'll leave it to your imagination with these key words: poison control, 5 am grogginess, and "only me!" Anyone who knows me is rolling their eyes right now at this addition to my soap opera life.

Am totally going insane trying to balance the school/work/home ownership/motherhood thing. Tonight I swear I stared at my computer screen for 10 mintues trying to remember how to make the cursor on the screen move (that's it...just reach for the mouse....it's not that far away....you can do it....just reach)

I really do love the night shift - totally shocked since I always considered myself to be a morning person. When I first started this new shift, I was wide awake, super productive, and I have never felt healthier! Wish I had started this schedule years ago. Love going to an afternoon bookstudy (which reminds me I have to switch groups AGAIN) Now that schools started, things are a little crazy, and I am not quite so AWAKE at work right now. Had to step down as union steward. That lasted a whole 3 weeks! Have my own problems to worry about without trying to pile other peoples issues on my shoulders!

Today's school mishap.... left for school a half hour early hoping to do a little reading before class as I am almost a week behind everyone after my little hospital stay. Get to the classroom - wait FOREVER for this class to pile out, push my way through the stragglers, grab a seat, and bury my head in the textbook. After a while I look at my watch and notice that everyone is late (clue #1 I missed). Go back to studying. 10 minutes later I notice it's still a little too quiet. Check my hand made schedule, yep, I'm in the room listed on my schedule. Class must be cancellled. I am ticked - I got up early for THIS! Decide to check to see if there is an email message from the prof about this inconvenience. Nothing. Take a quick look at my schedule - I made a typo on my schedule I drew up....I was in the wrong building! So here I am, the one that has to be EARLY for EVERYTHING, 35 minutes late for a class that I had missed a week ago as well. When I get there, there is only 2 seats left in the tiny classroom at the very front of the room where I had to cross in front of the projector, and in front of the prof, and sit in front of everyone. Class had to be stopped to allow me to get past so what a lovely grand entrance I made! Only me!

Weight loss - well mom and I still have our contest of who can lose 50 lbs the fastest, but we've decided to approach it a little differently this time. For every 10 lbs one loses, the other person rewards them with something. Thought this would be a little more motivation. No major loss on my part so far.... 3.6 lbs, but I guess it's in the right direction. I'm getting tired of the constant comments in class about how, "no one respects a fat nurse,"; "how do you expect to help others if you can't help yourself", blah, blah, blah....well at least the guilt trips are working - now whenever I see chips or chocolate, the first thought in my head is, "that's just not healthy". We'll see how long this lasts!

Miss you like crazy Milo, and so does Molly. Sounds like Milo is adjusting well in his new home and having a blast....spoiled like crazy which he deserves.

Well it's after 4 now and I HAVE to attempt to get some sleep or this upcoming evening will be another zombie experience at work.

Time to lose weight!

Today mom and I started a contest to see who could lose 50 lbs the fastest - the Dr really gave mom a hard time the last time she went to see him about how she needs to lose weight because of her diabetes. She has had the diabetes for years with very few problems, but as she is getting older she is starting to see the effects of the diabetes. He told her she has to lose 50 lbs which would basically make all her symptons go away. (if she needs to lose 50, I can just imagine how much he would think I need to lose!) Anyways since this was her wake up call, I figured this would be a good time for me to smarten up too and we can help each other out. I myself am high risk for diabetes since almost every member of my family has it so this can be my wake up call!